Your Suicide
by Lamia of the Dark
Summary: Oneshot. One night Sho comes home and finds Kyoko barely alive after a suicide attempt. At the hospital, waiting to find out if she'll live or die, he realizes he doesn't want to lose her. Sho x Kyoko. Dark and angsty, but has a happy ending.


**DISCLAIMER: Skip Beat! Belongs to Yoshiki Nakamura.**

-- Your Suicide --

Sho Fuwa came home to his apartment - or, more accurately, Kyoko's apartment that he only stayed at sometimes - late one night.

He immediately noticed that something was wrong. It was late, true. But not so late that he wouldn't have expected Kyoko to still be up waiting for him. (Even though he didn't actually come back here very often anymore.) All the lights were off. Sho flipped the switch, illuminating the room.

And saw Kyoko, passed out on the floor in a pool of her own blood. Beside her was a knife, one he recognized from their kitchen.

For a moment he could do nothing more than stare in shock.

_She might still be alive_.

That thought galvanized him into action. He knelt beside her and placed two fingers against her neck. Her pulse was weak. Her breathing was shallow. But she was alive.

He called an ambulance, but quickly discovered that he couldn't stand the feeling that he was doing nothing - just waiting for someone else to save her, someone who might not get there in time.

Sho didn't know what to do, only that he didn't want Kyoko to die.

Later, when he had time to think, he would wonder why she had tried to kill herself and he would feel guilty about not coming home more often.

But right now the only thought in his head was that he couldn't let her die. He had to save her.

Sho knelt and scooped Kyoko into his arms, carefully cradling her prone body against his chest. And he carried her out into the night.

* * *

At the hospital, he sat in the waiting room and waited for what felt like forever. He waited and he worried and he wondered and he thought.

The hospital staff asked him earlier about contacting her parents and he'd been forced to admit that he didn't know how to get in touch with her mother, that they'd run away from home and he wasn't sure he could even get his own parents to talk to him anymore.

But he had called his parents and talked to them, and they'd been perfectly willing to talk to him. They were horrified to hear what had happened to Kyoko, of course.

And finally the doctor came and told him that she would live.

"Can she leave the hospital?" Sho asked, his voice tired. "I want to take her home."

* * *

Sho had cancelled all his appointments and appearances and concerts. He'd moved back to his parents' house in Kyoto. He'd even started going back to school.

But now he was spending most of his time in Kyoko's hospital room. She'd finally seemed to be getting better, back to her old self again. But just when they'd thought she was recovering from her suicide attempt, she cut her wrists again.

Sho didn't know what to do. He didn't know why she wanted to die. She was unresponsive. She wouldn't talk to him, to anyone. He didn't know what he could do for her, besides just be there. And so he spent all his time in her hospital room, at her side, slowly sinking into depression.

His manager had called, but he'd never answered her calls. She came in person, and he told her to leave him alone. She told him that he was starting to get popular and she understood if he needed some time off, but he'd been gone for too long and if he didn't start releasing new songs and making public appearances again, then he was going to fall out of the public eye completely and his chance at stardom would be shot.

And he told her fine. He'd write something. He didn't explain to his manager why he'd come home or why he intended to stay there.

* * *

Sho tired to write, he really did, but he just couldn't come up with any lyrics. His mind was filled only with thoughts of Kyoko. If he went back to Tokyo to pursue his musical career, what would happen to her? Would she try to kill herself again? Would he come home on a break and have to hear his parents say, "We didn't want to tell you over the phone, but..."

NO. No, no, no! He couldn't think that way. He couldn't. She had to live. She had to. She'd tried to kill herself because of whatever had happened to her that he didn't even know what it was... because she wouldn't tell him.

And then it clicked. Whatever it was that had happened to her had been bad enough that she'd wanted to kill herself over it. But she'd never told him about it. She'd smiled and acted like everything was fine every time he saw her. He'd had no idea that anything had been wrong. Even now, he had no idea how long she'd been struggling with whatever her problem was. She'd hidden it from him so he wouldn't worry about her, so he could concentrate on his music without worrying about her. And she'd tried to kill herself when the pain or the stress or the panic of it was too much for her handle anymore. He'd taken care of her, taken her home. After that she'd gotten better, or at least pretended to. (At this point, he honestly couldn't say with any degree of certainty which of the two it had been.) And when it looked like he still didn't plan on returning to Tokyo, she'd tried again to remove herself from his life.

He understood now. He was shocked, he was angry, he was assaulted with a storm emotions he wasn't even sure he could name.

He felt like writing a song.

* * *

Sho sat on the edge of Kyoko's hospital bed and took her hand in his.

"I'm going to be gone for a little while," he told her quietly. "I'm going back to Tokyo for a few days... keep your radio on."

She didn't say anything, but her fingers tightened around his and she smiled a little before letting go.

* * *

Kyoko kept the radio on in her hospital room, just like Sho had asked. And on the third day after he left, she heard it.

"_The crimson tears that fell on my shirt  
From the angry crescent crying on your wrist  
As I carried you in my arms  
Are still there, though the panic and alarm  
I felt at the time has since faded_

_The truth of your fake smile  
Shocked me even more  
Than coming home and finding  
Your cold and twisted body lying on the floor_

_I can't stop this burning  
I can't erase the memories  
The carpet still painted with your pleas  
The white smile behind your sleeve_

_You didn't cry but I cried  
I died a little inside  
You're still alive  
And I'm still haunted by your suicide_."

Sho's new song. Her song. Tears streamed down Kyoko's face as she listened.

* * *

Sho came back, just as he'd promised. A few days later than he'd planned, but the song was a breakout hit. His fans loved it because he'd poured his heart out into it and there was so much emotion in the lyrics and in his voice when he sang it...

After the single "Your Suicide" was released, the press somehow acquired some previously unreleases photos featuring Sho carrying a mysterious unidentified girl in his arms and one of Sho smoking outside the hospital in a bloodstained shirt.

In interviews Sho was asked about the song and the photos, and he admitted that not only were they related, but the song was actually about that very incident. And then they asked him about the girl. And - prepared for his fans to hate him, and hate _her_ - he told the story of how his parents didn't support his music, how he and Kyoko had run away together, how he hadn't realized anything was wrong until her suicide informed him otherwise.

And "Your Suicide" and Sho Fuwa only became even more popular because of that.

So he ended up coming home a few days later than he'd planned.

* * *

He was surprised to find out that Kyoko had been released from the hospital, that she'd been helping his parents out at the inn for the past couple of days and seemed to be doing well.

And when she saw him, she rushed into his arms and there - snuggled safely against him - she whispered her secret to him. And he didn't reject her as she'd once feared, only held her tighter.

"Come back to Tokyo with me," he whispered into her hair. "I've got money now, we can stay someplace nice this time. And my fans love you. They want to meet you. Every time I sing that song, they ask me if you're okay now."

His fans could see how much he loved her - her pain was his pain, "Your Suicide" clearly told them that - and they had seen how much she loved him, how much she was willing to sacrifice for him. So they accepted her, and loved her.

-end-


End file.
